Vacation

Sorry to disappoint my legions of fans, but I will be on vacation until at least August 10. I'm not sure what the internet access situation will be, so if I don't post for a while, that's why. But, feel free to get lost in the archives if you get bored. Or go see the Simpsons Movie (again, if need be).

All Giddy over KG/Gagne

Earlier today I was playing basketball (I'm really, really, really good; 5'10, 255 lb guys are a perfect fit for this game) with a few buddies, and one of my friends, Steve, showed up wearing his Paul Pierce jersey. Despite my assertion just hours earlier that I didn't want to jinx the KG deal, I asked him where his #21 Garnett jersey was (I didn't yet know that KG was going to wear 5, as you can see above). He said they weren't for sale yet, as the deal wasn't official, last he knew. I feared that I had jinxed the deal, but wasn't distraught over it. A few minutes later, Steve also mentioned the Jermaine Dye deal with the White Sox, which was supposedly going to get Wily Mo Pena the hell out of Boston, along with Manny Delcarmen. He spoke of this quite casually, as if it were a done deal. Only later did I realize that the Dye deal had fallen apart, jinxed by Steve and me, while KG was in Beantown for an introductory press conference. I wasn't really upset, because I think that Dye is over the hill and JD Drew, for all his headaches, is actually a better player. Just kind of funny how things work out.

I do prefer the deal that the Sox did end up making, sending LHP Kason Gabbard and minor league OFs David Murphy and Engel Beltre to Texas in exchange for Eric Gagne. Gagne voided a no-trade clause and agreed to serve as CL Jonathan Papelbon's primary setup man, and will bolster an already dominant bullpen. I like this move by the Sox, since they do have a quality starting rotation of Beckett, Dice-K, Wakefield, Lester and Schilling about to come off the DL. They could afford to bid adieu to Gabbard, despite his tremendous performance during Schilling's stint on the DL, and get to keep Delcarmen, who seems poised to enter "dominant reliever" status. I like the trade. I do wonder which number Gagne will wear, since 38 is Schilling's number.

Bottom line, Sox got a little bit better today and seem poised to make a nice stretch run, while the Celtics got significantly better/more marketable.

Thanks to the Boston Globe for the article and picture.

Tex to Atl; KG to Celts?

It's kind of nice to be able to talk about positive issues in sports today, instead of Vick or Donaghy or all of the negativity that the media has dumped (fairly or unfairly) on Bonds. Big trades are always fun to talk about, and today two fairly big trades have been announced. First, 1B Mark Texeira will now be an Atlanta Brave, moving from the Texas Rangers, who will receive C Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Saltalamacchia is a "can't miss" catching prospect, but since Brian McCann is already entrenched behind the plate for Atlanta, this deal made sense. The Braves add a big bat for the stretch run in their attempt to catch the Mets and Phillies, while the Rangers, who appear as if they will be playing also-rans this year in the AL West, are doing what they probably should be doing: building for the future. Salty is, from all reports, a tremendous building block.

But the biggest trade rumor (and it is just a rumor at this point, folks) is from the NBA. Minnesota reportedly will send F Kevin Garnett to the Boston Celtics for F Al Jefferson, F Ryan Gomes, G Gerald Green, C Theo Ratliff and 2 1st round picks, one of which is lottery-protected.

Now, since the deal is not final and I'm a Celtics fan and I don't want to jinx anything, I won't say more than these two things. 1. How happy is David Stern that the focus might be shifting from Tim Donaghy to a blockbuster trade? (Thanks Dan Shanoff for pointing this out) and 2. A starting lineup of Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, KG and Kendrick Perkins can definitely win the crap-tacular East.

Simpsons Movie! Spoiler Alert!

So I convinced my wife to go see the Simpsons Movie with me this afternoon, and my initial, gut reaction to the film is positive. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the film, which at times felt like a really long episode and at other times felt like an actual movie. I suppose after so many years of making the show, it must be difficult to come up with new material, so I tip my cap to the writers/producers/whatevers who came up with a solid, but still ridiculous enough plot for the movie. Just think, Family Guy has only been on the air for 5 seasons and they've been ripping people off from the beginning, so the fact that the Simpsons made an effort to be original is noteworthy.

The actual plot is kind of funny in and of itself; Lisa succeeds in waking the town up to the terrible pollution in Lake Springfield, prompting a ban on dumping in the lake, which Homer violates when he dumps a silo full of his new pet pig's (Spider Pig/Harry Plopper) feces into the lake. The ensuing environmental disaster prompts the EPA to put an impenetrable dome over Springfield, fulfilling the prophecy that Grandpa Simpson had rather incoherently spouted while in church during the opening scene. The Simpsons escape the angry mob that is trying to kill them, as well as the dome, and follow Homer's dream of living in Alaska. After a short time there, however, the Simpsons discover that the government is planning to blow up Springfield in order to create "The New Grand Canyon." All of the Simpsons want to return to their home town in order to save the people they love (Bart has developed a bond with Ned Flanders, Lisa has a new love interest in an Irish boy named Colin), but Homer refuses. Marge takes the kids back to Springfield, Homer has an epiphany with the help of an old Inuit woman with a huge rack, comes back to Springfield just in time to ruin a brilliant escape plan but then save the town at the last second.

The "Idiot Saves the World" theme has been done in films before, but no Idiot is quite like Homer Simpson. Although the movie was not uproarious (which the Simpsons itself hasn't been for years anyways), it was clever and cutting at points. I'll probably go see it again in the theater at least one more time, and expect me to have more on it then.

Quickie

So I didn't get a chance to see the Simpsons Movie last night; too much other stuff going on. And I'll be travelling tomorrow and Monday, so I probably won't get a chance to see it until Tuesday night at the earliest. This upsets me. So, I guess I'll have to hold off on the Simpsons Movie analysis until then. And I don't really want to talk to anyone about it because I want to form my own opinion upon watching, instead of going in with one. So there's that.

In other news, the Red Sox, behind stone-cold Kevin Youkilis and Devil Ray-killer Tim Wakefield (undefeated at Tropicana in his career!), beat up on Tampa. The Yanks lost at Baltimore, who received a solid performance from SP Jeremy Guthrie, to fall to a full 8 games behind the Sox.

More trouble for Mike Vick, here and here.

Thanks to Yahoo! Sports and Deadspin for the links.

Misc.

The big news today, of course, is the premiere of The Simpsons Movie. I haven't seen it yet (big day of watching The Breakfast Club and playing golf), but I'll probably go tonight. All you dedicated readers will get my breakdown when it becomes available.

Sorry I haven't been around too much lately; my wife just took the Bar Exam so things have been a little hectic, but I'll be back with a good post tomorrow. In the mean time, check out the vast, vast, vast, vast, vast archives (vast). Or go see The Simpsons Movie.

Jon Lester Has Huge Balls

His line tonight: W, (1-0) 6 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K

All of that less than 11 months after this.

Bravo.

Vick

This whole Michael Vick thing has got me thinking a lot about cruelly to animals, got me checking out PETA's website and the Humane Society of the United States' site as well, and also, along with NationofIslamSportsBlog, got me thinking about race. Has Vick been convicted in the court of public opinion due to the fact that he is black? It certainly would not be the first time. Has the maelstrom of media attention been due to the fact that he is black? Perhaps, but it could also have something to do with the fact that his indictment happened to occur during one of the most boring sports weeks ever.

I don't know the answer, and I sure as hell don't know if Vick is guilty or not, but I think the media attention towards him indicates that he is not being presumed innocent. Indictments, however, are apparently not such a big deal in and of themselves, since Karl Rove and Tom DeLay (and other politicians, I imagine) have been allowed to continue working after being indicted. I don't recall anyone being as up in arms over Rove and DeLay as they are about Vick.

The question of whether Roger Goodell should suspend Vick has been asked, and if one follows precedent, then probably he should. Pacman Jones and Chris Henry, as you probably know, were both suspended by the NFL without being convicted of a crime. But whither Jared Allen? His suspension for violation of the NFL's substance abuse policy was cut in half on appeal last week. Could race be playing a role in Goodell's assignment of suspensions? You tell me.

Need Help (more than usual)

Given the downward spiral in which my fantasy baseball teams seem to be mired, I have decided to turn my attention towards fantasy football. Last year was a terrible one for me on the fantasy football front, coming in dead last in both of my leagues. I contend it was due to the fact that things really pick up for me right around September 1, and I could not devote the necessary attention to scouting reports, injury news and other various information that one needs in order to successfully draft. So, I'm starting early this year and I have come up with some prelimnary rankings by position. Let me know what you think

Running Backs
1. Tomlinson SD
2. Johnson KC
3. Jackson STL
4. Gore SF
5. Alexander SEA
6. Addai IND
7. Maroney NE
8. Bush NO
9. Jones-Drew JAX
10. Brown MIA

Quarterbacks
1. Manning IND
2. Bulger STL
3. Brady NE
4. Palmer CIN
5. Brees NO
6. McNabb PHI
7. Young TEN
8. Rivers SD
9. Hasselbeck SEA
10. Leinart ARI

Simmons v. Remy

I'm not sure if I do (or should) care about this ongoing feud between Jerry Remy and Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons, but I think it's funny nonetheless. In case you don't know, Simmons applied to be President of Red Sox Nation, some promotion that NESN is running. The Sports Guy applied, giving 10 reasons why he should be elected, and in it he poked fun at Remy's smoking habit. Remy tore the application apart (literally and metaphorically) on the air; SG then tore Remy apart on his Podcast. SG claims he was going to bow out of the race in order to allow Peter Gammons to run virtually unopposed, but Remy seems to have pissed him off so badly that he's staying in the race just to piss him off. Johnny Pesky must be proud.

The guys at Red Sox Monster and Dirtdogs do a much better job of explaining all this stuff here.

My question is: Who the hell cares? I'm pretty sure I don't.

On the origins of this blog's name

In the long period of time I've been blogging, scores of my dedicated readers have asked what this blog's name means. Since I've been so tremendously busy lately, I haven't gotten around to answering. But now that I have a little time available in between naps and visiting my fantasy baseball teams, I'll explain.

The title, as the astute reader will probably not be surprised to learn, is a Simpsons reference. In Season 9, Episode #5F06 / SI-906, Marge becomes a real estate agent. Shortly after her hiring, her likeness appears on a billboard in Springfield. In it, as Homer points out, her butt looks big. Marge wonders why that is, and Bart points out a neighboring billboard for the Lumber King, whose butt is also big. "Works for the Lumber King," Bart says, pointing to the billboard. Homer, mesmerized by the Lumber King's can, says "Lumber.... We need lumber."

You're welcome for the explanation. Thanks to TheSimpsonsArchive for the episode info.

First. Post. Ever.

Sitting here watching Season 8 of The Simpsons on DVD and figured I'd start a blog.

Initial thoughts: not so glamorous.

Secondary thoughts: Red Sox apparently avoided disaster this afternoon at Fenway by defeating Chicago 8-5. Okajima worked out of a jam that Wakefield and DelCarmen had put him in, Papelbon almost blew the save before working out of a bases loaded situation. With Gabbard's nice start yesterday, Lester starting tomorrow in Cleveland and Schilling about to come back, whither Julian Tavarez? Relegated to Manny-scalp-rubbings? Maybe this would be a good time for him to learn how to read.